HOW TO MANAGE STRESS + OVERWHELM
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Sometimes you feel like you have your life all together…
And then, BOOM! COVID-19 happens and sh*t hits the fan and your life - or life as you once knew it - has been turned completely upside down.
2020 was definitely the year where we all had to learn how to shift gears + our priorities and live our lives in a completely different way than I would say the majority of us are used to.
2020 was also the year when I hit my breaking point…
I realized that in order to do it all, I had to be better and prioritizing + off-loading some things in my life that just weren’t as important.
With a to-do list a mile high and the feeling that there was no end in site to getting it all done - and still have time to rest - something HAD to change.
There was one day in particular where I was ready to throw in the towel - and actually ended up in tears…
I had a to-do list that I just could figure out how I would ever get through.
My kids were behind on their school work and I didn’t know how to keep up with it without having them sitting and doing school all day.
My husband was busy doing HIS job, which meant even less time for me to tackle that to-do list.
And then, I put banana nut bread into the toaster.
This is a major no-no when you have a kid with a tree nut allergy.
And…
I LOST IT.
I put my arms up in defeat, and went and laid down in bed in the fetal position, praying that I could get just like ONE MINUTE of alone time and time where I didn’t have to think.
My brain + my body were DONE. I was exhausted. Wiped. DONE.
And then, as I reflected over the weekend about the previous week (as I try to do to get a fresh start on the new week), I realized that I couldn’t blame anyone for the way I was feeling except…
Wait for it…
MYSELF.
Here’s the deal, friends…
YOU are responsible for your thoughts and actions.
Sure, you might be trying to “balance” having kids at home and working from home (or working out of the home + making sure your kids are getting their homework done)...
And you might have a to-do list that you feel like you’ll never finish…
But, when it’s all said and done, you can either be resentful about the situation, or you can remind yourself that you can’t control what is happening in the world (despite how much you want to)…
And the things you can control are your thoughts and YOUR actions.
Stressed + overwhelmed is a feeling I am all too used to. And a lot of my depression stems from feeling stressed and overwhelmed. There’s a little voice in my head that tells me it’s too hard when I start feeling stressed and overwhelmed and that’s it’s just not worth it anymore. Y’all, that voice is HARD to shut up… but sometimes it’s just what I have to do in order to move forward.
Because I don’t want to just sit here and tell you, “Hey! YOU need to control the things you can…” I want to give you some ACTIONABLE tips on what you CAN do (or really, what I do) when you’re feeling stressed, overwhelmed, and ready to throw in the towel…
>> Figure out your priorities
When you have SO MUCH to get done and a deadline to get it done by, you’ve gotta determine what things are the MOST important thing at that moment in time.
Each day, I choose 3 things that I KNOW I need to get done for the day. But, I’m not talking like BIG things… I’m talking about the smaller action steps that get me closer to that goal. It might mean scheduling an email for a client, or it might be getting 1 thing done on a bigger project.
Days like today that I’m writing this, my only goal is CONTENT. I write my blog and email for the week. I write the blog and email for The Biz Runners for the week, as well as our content. THAT’S IT. I still answer my emails. I still do the things that need to get done in my business. But, as far as my priorities, those are the ONLY things that I need to get done for the day. Everything else will have to wait until tomorrow (unless it’s due tomorrow… then obviously, my priorities will look different).
Choose 3 things and focus on those things ONLY.
>> Unplug for awhile
The worst thing you can do when you’re feeling stressed + overwhelmed is add MORE noise to what you’re thinking and feeling. And that’s just what social media does. It adds to the noise and causes MORE stress.
Look, I KNOW that social media is a great way to “unplug” and not think for awhile, but remember, you’re being inundated with everyone else's thoughts, feelings, opinions… and it gets messy and it DOES affect you, despite your best intentions to just “not think” for awhile.
Go put your phone in a drawer or in another room for a few hours and get busy doing something else. Go for a walk outside. Play games with your family. Call a friend. But, stay off social for a bit.
>> Sleep on it or at least walk away for a bit
Yeah, I know… your to-do list is huge. How can you sleep when you have SO MUCH to do?!
Again, probably the best thing you CAN do is REST.
I’m one of those people who needs time to think (thank you Enneagram 9…). When my husband + I fight (which isn’t often because I don’t like to talk about my feelings), I usually need to sleep on it, and in the morning I feel SO much better!
If I’m struggling with troubleshooting an issue for a client or I’m stuck on what to write this week, if I give myself some time to rest, walk away, and let it stew for a bit, I can typically come back and figure it out.
It might seem counterintuitive to NOT do something when you’re trying to be productive, but sometimes you just need that time away for a bit to be more productive when you come back.
>> Set boundaries
This is one thing I’ve gotten really good about in the last year and has helped my mental health A TON. (My problem is that I’m not good at communicating my boundaries… but I’m working on it…) Setting boundaries can either be boundaries you set for yourself (like no phone in bed) or for other people (like not responding to emails or messages after a certain time).
Most of these I’ve set for myself… things like not bringing my phone into bed with me, or not checking notifications after 9PM, or turning off my notifications entirely. As an online business owner, it’s easy for me to be plugged in ALL THE DANG TIME. So, I have to set these boundaries for myself.
My business hours are 9AM to 3PM on weekdays only. Does that mean I don’t check anything after 3PM or on the weekends? No, but it means that I’m not going to be as available after those times. That has freed me up to be more present with my family when I should be with them, and has decreased the pressure on myself to be “on” all the time.
I hope that helps you a little bit with managing your stress and overwhelm. It’s not always easy - I get that - but I hope that this is a step in the right direction, especially with what you’re going through right now.
Some other posts you might enjoy that go more in depth into these steps…
