i’m a statistic
Did you know that 30% of all deliveries are Caesarean sections? Matt + I first heard this statistic in our childbirth class back in August. There were 9 couples in the class, meaning that 2 or 3 of us would end up with a C-section as our delivery outcome. Matt + I looked at each other and said, “Not us!”As my due date got closer and they told me she was head down, I was excited. She wasn’t breech, which meant I already avoided a C-section in that sense. All I had to worry about now was the umbilical cord + placenta behaving themselves and I would come out with a great vaginal delivery.Or so I thought. You can’t plan out what is going to happen during the birth of your child as I came to find out a week ago today. I never thought I would be a statistic. Sure, I never actually pictured myself going into labor on my own or even pushing my baby out. But, I still never thought I would be one of the 30% of women in the “zipper club”, as my cousin put it so well.
Like I said last week in my birth story, I am not disappointed with how my delivery turned out. I still ended up with a beautiful, healthy baby girl and, to me, that trumps whether my stitches are across my abdomen or down there. However, I can’t help but be a little jealous of those women who have given birth vaginally, were back home after just a night in the hospital, and are quickly returning to their “new normal” lives.I know I brought it up a little yesterday, but I’m struggling. Sure, I’m adjusting to parenting just fine – MacKenna is a great little baby + I don’t think I could love her any more than I do. But, to not be able to go about my day like I normally would (although normal is much different now) is a struggle. I want to be able to walk farther than to the mailbox and back without feeling like my insides are going to end up on the outside. I want to be able to take a shower + put on makeup without feeling like I’m going to pass out. I want to be able to pick up my 12 pound cat and tell her that I still love her despite the recent addition to our family. I want to be able to comfortably hold my baby while breastfeeding without her sitting right on my incision.
She’s not a big fan of the headbands yet. Obviously…
I’m feeling better + stronger every day and I know that it would’ve taken some time for me to feel normal after a vaginal delivery also. I just have to keep reminding myself that even though I didn’t labor, I still gave birth to this child.[blackbirdpie id="127818502114521089"] And that’s all that really matters.