RECLAIM YOUR TIME WITH HEALTHY BOUNDARIES
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I was in your shoes once...
You're feeling scattered, overwhelmed, stressed, unfocused, unmotivated... and your email and social media notifications certainly aren't helping you with these feelings.
After 7 years of working with entrepreneurs, I’ve found that one of the biggest culprits of stress + overwhelm when it comes to your time is because…
YOU DON’T HAVE BOUNDARIES.
But, as you know, setting boundaries isn’t exactly the easiest thing to do, especially if you’re a people-pleaser like I am. You just want people to be happy. You want them to like you. And if that means giving up your time, energy, resources, etc. to keep them happy, then you’ll do it.
What you might not realize is that you are subconsciously trying to control what other people think of you (because - NEWSFLASH - people pleasing is ALL about trying to control what other people think). In addition, it’s also sending subtle signals to other people about what you’re willing to do to make them happy.
And that gives THEM the control to walk all over you like a doormat - even if that’s not their intention.
But, boundaries aren’t just about creating boundaries with other people…
We also need to create boundaries with OURSELVES in order to protect our time and our energy.
Here are 6 steps to help you get started creating boundaries and reclaim YOUR time…
STEP ONE || DEFINE YOUR VALUES
For example, if one of your values is family, when it comes to your time, what boundaries do you need to create to keep that value as a top priority in your life?
Creating boundaries that value family might look like:
Putting your phone out of sight so you can be present after the kids come home from school
Scheduling in one-on-one time with your kids daily, weekly, or monthly
Taking care of your kids’ needs FIRST before work
Saying no to work or opportunities that take away from your family
STEP TWO || WHAT DO YOU NEED
One mistake I see many entrepreneurs make when it comes to their time is forgetting to account for what YOU need.
I am not a very high energy person. As an introvert, I NEED time to decompress each and every day. Just like a cell phone, my battery runs out as the day goes on and I need time to recharge. So, each day in my calendar, I have some time set aside to do just that.
Maybe what you need is...
8 hours of sleep each night
to get that run in every day
to make time to pray or do your devotional every day
time alone with your husband or some friends each week
to actually sit down and eat lunch every day
STEP THREE || SET BOUNDARIES DAILY
One of the biggest things I’ve learned in the 20+ years I’ve been in the workforce is that if I don’t set boundaries for when to start and stop things, I either won’t ever get started OR I will work until whatever I’m working on is done, which means I don’t take care of those NEEDS or VALUES.
In order to make time, start with creating a solid start and end time for when you'll do certain things. Time blocking can help with this, but even just having a start + end to your work day is a great boundary to start with.
STEP FOUR || SAY NO
I know… this is the HARDEST part. We don’t LIKE to say no. We want to make people happy, but again… people-pleasing is a form of trying to control what someone thinks of us.
A few years ago, I was at a conference where author + business coach Alli Worthington talked about time management. One thing she said about saying no changed my life forever…
Did Jesus say “yes” to everything? No. He had to say no frequently to things. And we know Jesus was perfect and sinless. Therefore, saying “no” is NOT a sin.
Mind. Blown.
How to make saying no easier? If it doesn’t fit into your schedule or doesn’t fit your values, it’s worth saying no to.
Remember, everything you say yes to, you’re saying no to something else. So it better be worth your time and energy!
STEP FIVE || BE CONSISTENT
When you were a kid and your parents set a rule, such as no TV during dinner, what happened when they let that rule slide just ONE time?
That rule most likely went out the window, right?
Well, boundaries are RULES for yourself… and if you’re not consistent with them, they’re no longer going to be boundaries.
This is especially true when it comes to other people. If you don’t communicate and stay consistent with those boundaries, you’re subconsciously telling people that your boundaries don’t really matter.
One of the best ways I believe to help you stay consistent with your boundaries - especially when you’re first getting started with them - is to write them down!
STEP SIX || START SMALL
Last but certainly not least, you don’t have to set every single boundary TODAY. It might feel overwhelming to start setting so many boundaries immediately. So, build them up slowly.
One thing that has helped me (mostly because the communication aspect is the hardest part for me), is to set my boundary first, be consistent with it, and THEN communicate it when I’m ready. That might not work for every situation, but establishing and sticking with the boundary will help you when it is time to communicate it with others.
This will also give you some time to make tweaks to your boundaries if you need to. Just like you do with your weekly schedule, take some time to reflect on your boundaries, see if you’re consistent with them, and then make changes as you go!
Boundaries are one of the top modules I teach inside Beyond Busyness. Not only do we dive in depth into each of these 6 steps, but we also go through communicating our boundaries so that you feel free to do what you need to do with your time – not everyone else’s!
Want to see if Beyond Busyness is right for you? Click here to learn more!
