Your Square Squad

A few times a month, my biz bestie and business partner Kelli + I get together for a “Work + Play Date.”We work. The boys (Miles and her youngest, Micah) play together. And after 3-4 hours of chatting, working, and playing, the time flies by!You’d think we were super unproductive during this time, but we actually get quite a bit done! And it’s always nice to have someone to work alongside with because this entrepreneurial journey can be lonely at times.As introverted as I am, I truly believe we are built for CONNECTION. I’ve felt more + more a pull to make sure people don’t feel alone in their journeys.From dealing with postpartum depression, to 6th nerve palsy and strabismus, to fall outs with friends, teammates, or mentors… I believe everyone needs to know that they’re NOT alone in this world.Lately, I’ve been reading the book “Dare to Lead” by Brene Brown. I honestly don’t know if I would’ve picked up this book on a bookshelf, but I had just finished my last book and this one became available through my library app.(Side note: If your local library has Libby - I HIGHLY recommend it! I can read books for FREE on my Kindle and it’s AMAZING! Plus, it forces me to read books faster since I only have them for 2 weeks at a time.)The book is obviously on leadership, but the parts of leadership that we might not necessarily be great at, but are skills we need to build.Specifically… Vulnerability + Empathy.Y’all, I didn’t realize until this book just how much I SUCK at both of these things. Like really.I share A LOT of my life on social media and the blog. Mostly because I love to write and feel more comfortable behind my screen than I do in person. But, both things have given me a VOICE. But, while I share a lot of my life over the internet, I’m actually NOT being vulnerable AT ALL.As Brene says, vulnerability isn’t about sharing your deepest, darkest secrets. It’s about, “the emotion that we experience during times of uncertainty, risk, and emotional exposure.” Basically, if it’s something that makes you uncomfortable, you are experiencing vulnerability.Guess who’s an Enneagram 9 and HATES being uncomfortable?! 🙋But, that’s where PEOPLE + CONNECTION come in.It’s HARD to be vulnerable around other people. I know for me, I shy away from anything that might cause conflict or could potentially be an uncomfortable experience.However, there are a handful of people who I know I can be open + honest - VULNERABLE - with who aren’t just “yes” people. Who won’t judge me - or at least not to my face. But, will tell me what I need to hear in an open + loving way.Brene calls these people your Square Squad.When I went to think about my Square Squad, I realized it was a lot smaller than I thought it would be. Who are the people that I can tell anything to without fear of judgement or ridicule?Kelli is one of those people.My mom is one of those people.My husband is one of those people.And a handful of select others are those people.They’re willing to push me, to tell me what I NEED to hear - not what I WANT to hear. Do I still get defensive and want to shut down? Absolutely. But, these are the people who I know I can come to when I am going through hard things and they can sit with me in my discomfort and tell me what I need to hear (aka EMPATHY).We all NEED those people in our lives. And unfortunately, not everyone feels like they have those people. I want to encourage you that if you don’t have those people, to find them. It’s going to take COURAGE + VULNERABILITY, but I know it’s what you NEED in your life.And if you do have those people, try to be that person to someone else. Don’t always be the “yes” person. Learn how to talk to people in a loving way that still tells them what they need to hear - not what they want to hear. This isn’t combative, but LOVE.And thankfully, this is a skill that can be learned. I still SUCK at this, but not that I am aware of it, I know that I can get better and BE better. And I encourage you to do the same.