five

Tomorrow is our 5 year anniversary.  I just cannot believe it's been 5 years since one of the best days of my life!  I really did marry my best friend and I am so happy that I get to wake up next to him every single morning!

Life has changed so much in the past 5 years, especially with starting a family last year.  We've been through a lot in these past 5 years, and I've learned a lot about myself as a wife, about Matt, and about marriage in general.

Marriage really is "for better or for worse, in sickness + in health."  Marriage definitely isn't easy.  We've hit rough patches, but it has only made our marriage stronger.  Matt has been there for me with the death of 3 of my grandparents within a 2 year time span, when I didn't have a job for ... years, and when I've struggled through depression (mostly due to both of those scenarios).  I've done my best to help him through his dad's cancer diagnosis + heart attack, chronic injuries, and the stress of being a teacher + coach.  By being there for each other, we've been able to grow stronger in our marriage and understand what we each need to get through those tough times.

Communication is key.  I hate to admit it, but I'm horrible at communicating my feelings.  I am a people pleaser and I don't want to hurt people's feelings by telling them how I feel about something.  This includes Matt.  However, I am getting better at telling him how I am feeling because Lord knows that if I hold it in, I tend to erupt in tears and hissy fits.  Thank goodness I married someone who can see past those things!  But yes, you absolutely have to tell your spouse what you're going through.  Like I said, in sickness + health, for better or worse, they will be there for you every step of the way.

It's OK to go to bed angry.  I know everyone says you shouldn't go to sleep mad at your spouse.  But, I have to tell you, sometimes it is OK.  I'm one of those people who tends to over dramatize things (yes, I'm a drama queen).  I will let things just build up until, like I said, I erupt in tears.  Most of the time, I will have no idea why I'm mad or upset and it's just better for me to sleep on it.  When I wake up in the morning, I usually have completely forgotten why I was so upset with him in the first place.  Of course, this isn't the case for every situation - again, communicate - but it is OK sometimes.

There is nothing better than seeing your spouse as a parent.  Our wedding was one of the best days of my life, but having a child together was equally as amazing!  I fell more in love with Matt when we had MacKenna.  I know Matt loves me + I him, but that love for your child is just so awesome - and seeing someone love something so sweet + innocent with everything they have makes my heart melt.  He is an awesome father and I think MacKenna + I are both "the luckiest" to have him in our lives.

Never stop dating each other.  I can't tell you how important it is for us to have regular dates.  Especially now that we have a baby.  We've tried to keep our life after baby similar to our life before baby, continuing to go out exploring spontaneously with baby in tow, and going out on dates without the baby.  We need that time for each other.  And I certainly can tell when we haven't had a date in awhile.  We'll flirt, he (sometimes) opens the car door for me, and we hold hands (it's hard to hold hands when you're either holding a baby or pushing a stroller).  It definitely helps strengthen our relationship and helps us fall farther in love with each other.

I love you Matt with everything I have.  Thank you for being such an amazing husband the past 5 years.  You are my best friend and soul mate and I can't wait to spend the next 70+ years together!