A BREAKUP LETTER TO FACEBOOK
ARE YOU READY TO MAKE 2021 THE YEAR WHERE YOU GET MORE DONE, ACHIEVE YOUR GOALS, AND STILL HAVE TIME FOR YOUR FAMILY? LET ME HELP YOU GET YOUR TIME BACK WITH MY FREE PRODUCTIVITY PLANNER!
Dear Facebook,
When we first got together, you were a place where I could hang out and catch up with my friends from high school and college. I loved being able to share pictures and stories of my life with you and all my other friends.
But, lately, it’s gotten harder and harder to be with you. The more time I would spend with you, the harder it would be to leave. And then, I’d find excuses to keep doing things to be with you.
Really, it’s not you… it’s me. I need a break. I need time to not have you in my life all the time. I need away from the toxic environment and thoughts you’ve been creating for me.
I’ll still be around you, but I can’t be with you like we used to be.
I hope you understand.
Your friend,
Kristen
So, as you can see, I had to “break up” with Facebook. But, it’s not exactly what you think…
Like I stated in my letter above, this has more to do with me than it does with Facebook. I know you might be thinking similar thoughts right now, but I wanted to share with you why I chose to spend far less time on the OG social media platform.
If you are on Facebook or have been on Facebook over the last year, you know that it hasn’t exactly been the most welcoming place in the world. Sure, there’s funny memes and it’s been an easier way to connect with people when we have been social distancing for over a year now…
But, with everything happening in the world today - the pandemic, racial tension, the election, etc. - I personally feel it’s become so divisive and toxic.
My personal tipping point happened just a few months ago…
After the kids went to bed on a Saturday night in January, Matt and I snuggled up into bed, scrolling through our phones. Lately, I had been noticing more and more that I was seeking out controversial posts and scrolling through the comments on said posts.
But, this night, something signaled in my brain that this needed to stop. I don’t quite remember exactly what it was, but I have a feeling that I had spent A LOT of time on my phone that day (more than I should on a Saturday that should be reserved with my family), and I was actively looking for people who were either spewing hateful or hurtful things, or just posting controversial things.
I was desperate to read the comments on their posts because I wanted to see the “crazies” who agreed with these people - and also see if there were others who thought along the same lines as me.
This one post in particular that night was one in which the original post was telling people to do something that was BLATANTLY wrong. I won’t get into the specifics of it, but the information they were sharing with their followers - and the number of people who took this as TRUTH, just based on the post, without doing their own research - OR JUST READING THE ACTUAL WORDS THAT WAS BEING SHARED - terrified me. I saw all these people agreeing with what this person had shared, when it was clear as day that they were doing the EXACT OPPOSITE of what they actually were wanting to do.
I scrolled through numerous comments to see if anyone would call this person out about what they were sharing - and telling people to do - was wrong. (Side note: this was NOT something racially or ethically based - this was more on the matter of censorship and tracking that they were sharing.) Only ONE of the hundreds of comments pointed out that they were in fact doing the opposite of what they were wanting to do in this post.
And you want to know how many people replied to that single comment? ONE. And it was me. (And as an Enneagram 9, you KNOW that I get super uncomfortable with things that go against the norm.)
At that moment, I knew that I needed to be done. NOT because of this one post, but because…
I was actively seeking out drama on Facebook, and
I didn’t want to add to the noise and drama that was already happening there
I spent the next hour UNFOLLOWING (not un-friending) all of the 3,000+ followers on my feed. My husband, my mom, my business partner, my team… no one was excluded from my mass unfollowing.
I needed my feed to be EMPTY. I needed a way to avoid the drama.
At this point, I’m sure you’re wondering why I didn’t just delete my account or remove the app from my phone.
Here’s the hard part…
I’m a business owner and I also help run other businesses who utilize Facebook. I’m an admin or moderator in several different groups in which I NEED to be on Facebook. I also have groups that I run and use to promote my own businesses. I also run Facebook ads for several businesses and need my personal account to do that.
So, completely deleting myself from Facebook just didn’t make sense as a business owner. Which is why I chose to find a way to “remove” my newsfeed.
It’s been almost 2 months, and so far I am completely unaware of ANY drama that is happening in the world. We don’t really watch the news anymore (I get email alerts for breaking news if I need it) so I basically know nothing that is happening in the world - unless I see it on Instagram.
I’m also spending FAR less time on my phone than I used to. While I LOVE Instagram, I just don’t spend a ton of time scrolling on there. I’m super intentional with my time there, and I think because it’s not as toxic or dramatic, I’m not actively scrolling, seeking out drama.
But, I think the biggest change for me has been my mindset. Because I’m not actively seeking out drama (I’m tellin’ ya, it was really unhealthy), I feel like I’m much happier now. I don’t have things to bring me down, to make me second guess my choices in life, to tell me that I’m wrong. It’s been FREEING.
Do I feel like everyone should get off Facebook? Absolutely not!
But, if you’re like me, and you need a break or you’re finding yourself seeking out drama, it might be time to say good-bye for a bit.
If you want to connect with me, I’m extremely active on Instagram, or if you’re not an IG person, feel free to follow my Facebook Page or join our free community, Keeping It Real with Trey + Kristen.
You can also check out why I take a break from social media every single week - and learn how to implement it yourself!
