cutting back
As I’ve mentioned more than once recently, going back to work has been harder than I ever anticipated it being. I am now on my 4th week back at work (yes, I’m counting) and it still hasn’t gotten any easier. My life was much more simple when I was spending all my time with my baby, although it still wasn’t easy those 12 weeks. Now, with work thrown into the mix, I go from working 8 hours a day at my actual job and come home to my other job – being a mom + wife.
Those 2 jobs take up ALL of my time. Literally. There are days when the only time I have to relax is when MacKenna is sleeping in my arms after dinner. And while I cherish that time with her, it doesn’t give my a lot of time to get much else done. I’ve been feeling totally stressed out and completely overwhelmed. Those 2 things combined do not add up well and typically lead to depression, given my family history.
I’ve really had to start looking at what things are most important in my life. By far, the most important things are my 2 M’s – Matt + MacKenna. I want to spend as much time with both of them as I can, because they are the 2 things that make me happiest in life.
Next, of course, is work. I’m still wishing I could be a stay-at-home mom, but again, it’s just not financially possible. I have to work so that has to be high on my list of priorities. And next month (February) is a very busy time at work with 2 field trips, Jump Rope/Hoops for Heart, planning + practicing for our PE assembly, and coaching after school sports. The breaks I do get during the day need to be spent getting things done in preparation for all those things.
And of course, my health also ranks high as a priority – mental + physical. Luckily, those 2 things go hand-in-hand. I need to spend the time exercising and eating well so I can stay mentally healthy. It’s my stress relief and I’m definitely not willing to sacrifice that, even if it does cut into my sleep time and a little time I would get to spend with my family.
Unfortunately, something I do need to sacrifice is blogging. I just don’t have the time I used to have to be able to blog 5 days a week. I’m not saying I won’t be blogging at all anymore, but I will be cutting back significantly. If I get the chance to blog and have something to say, believe me, I will definitely be writing about it. But, for now, I just don’t have the time to come up with a topic, organize my thoughts, write it all out, take + edit pictures, etc. It’s leaving me stressed out to the max and I can’t continue to break down every night because I didn’t get a post up.
**Side note: I had this post written last night and my Live Writer crashed on me, which spiraled me into a complete meltdown. Point taken, self. I need to cut back.**
I will continue giving you MacKenna + Body After Bump updates, but they’ll both be once a month now. I want to still do WIAW, but it might not happen every week. I still have lots of things to say and share, but as much as I love my blog + all my readers/friends, I just simply don’t have the time… right now.
Maybe once I figure this whole “working mom” thing out or find a way I can work from home (unlikely), I can continue blogging like I used to. But, until those things happen or we hit summer (is it May 24th yet?), blogging has to be low on the priority list. I’ll miss the few comments in my inbox every day, but I know this is what I need to do to stay sane.
I love you all and hope you understand! <3
Edited to add: I will be posting M's weekly pictures in the Baby Girl tab, so you can check them out each week. They might not be up on Tuesday, but I promise they'll be in there!