The 3 Lies I’ve Been Telling Myself for 33 Years

 This past weekend, I celebrated my 34th birthday. I know, I know… I don’t look a day over 19. #igetthatalot Just kidding. But, really… as much as I am LOVING being in my 30s, it’s still hard for me to believe that I’m actually well into my 30s now (and that I’ve been with my husband for over half my life now).With a birthday, milestone or not, I always take some time to reflect on the past year. This past year has been one of the most challenging, yet one of the most rewarding years of my life. But, a lot of it stemmed from finally getting past some of the LIES I’ve been telling myself for 33 years of my life.So, in true Rachel Hollis fashion (I know, you can’t believe that I’m talking about her AGAIN), I thought I would share the 3 lies I’ve been telling myself for so long, and the steps I’ve taken to get past them in hopes that it will inspire you to take some action in your own life and stop listening to the lies that you’ve been telling yourself for so long.

LIE ONE: I am not HER nor will I ever be.

I’m an extremely competitive person and tend to get caught in the comparison trap A LOT. With social media at our fingertips and the amount of information - true or false - that we consume on a daily basis, it is SO easy to get stuck in the comparison trap.I’ve told myself this lie my entire life - I remember telling myself this same lie back when I was in middle school and my best friend started dating my ex-boyfriend and was also found out that she was the valedictorian of our 8th grade class (and went on to become prom queen our senior year of high school). I was so upset because I knew that I would NEVER be her.Now, I look at people who are doing similar things to me or things I WANT to be doing, and I hear myself telling myself that same lie. “I want to BE her, but I never will be.”I recently said this to one of my business mentors who I look up to A LOT. I flat out told her that I wanted to be HER. And you know what she told me? “You don’t want to be me. You want to be YOU, who is BETTER version of me.”It hit me like a ton of bricks, but she was absolutely right. I won’t ever be her, no matter how I hard I try.And that’s OK.What I can do is show up as the best version of myself everyday. To keep learning to make myself better. To figure out what my strengths are and focus on those things. My zone of genius is totally different from yours, or hers, or hers, which is what make ME special and unique.Figure out where your strengths are and focus on learning how to get really really good at those things. Then commit to showing up everyday as the best version of YOU - not the girl you are comparing yourself to.

LIE TWO: I’m not smart enough to do this.

Insert whatever it is for “smart” for yourself, but this is a lie I’ve been telling myself my entire life.As a kid, I ALWAYS wanted to be a doctor. I love learning about how the body works and I love helping people. But, I never felt like I was smart enough to actually become a doctor.Don’t get me wrong, I’m a fairly smart individual. Google has taught me a lot of things, but I am perfectly capable of figuring out and learning things on my own. But, school never really came naturally for me. As much as I wanted to be, I was not a straight A student. I could get by in school without studying and get As and Bs, but I was in for a rude awakening when I got to college.I was |thisclose| to losing my scholarship after my first semester in college because I just couldn’t figure it all out. I didn’t know how to study. Things weren’t coming naturally anymore and my grades were slipping. Cue not feeling smart enough to go pre-med.But, you know what I’ve learned about myself? I won’t ever be the smartest person in the room, and that’s probably to my advantage. I married someone smarter than me and am CONSTANTLY learning from him. I surround myself with women who are one step ahead of me in business and soak up every word they say because I know that they will pull me to their level.I might not EVER be the smartest person in the room, but you know what, I work my butt off. I’m willing to figure it out until I learn it. I’m willing to learn new skills and make them work for me and other people.So, no, I’m not smart enough to do a lot of things, but dammit, I’m willing to learn and make it work for me!

LIE THREE: I will never get past this.

Like I said, this past year of my life has been one of the most rewarding, but also one of the most challenging. I have been battling depression for most of my life, but I’ve recently figured out the trigger for some of the lowest parts in my life.And that is the lie I’ve been telling myself. That when things get hard, I will NEVER get past those hard sticking points.I remember back in January, fighting through a glass ceiling in my business, pushing myself out of my comfort zone, and just feeling defeated because, well, of lie #1 that I had been telling myself. I remember silently crying to myself in the car, hoping my husband wouldn’t notice. When he asked me later what was going on, I remember telling him that I felt like I was going to be stuck forever. That I was never going to get past this and would never be where I wanted to be.Of course, I was able to bust through that glass ceiling and had one of my best months in business to date.Since then, there have been many, many other trying points in my business and in my life, and a lot of time, I simply just want to run away because I’m so scared that this is how it’s going to be for me forever.But, here’s the thing…I’ve ALWAYS figured it out, and I ALWAYS will.This has become my mantra that I have to tell myself on an almost daily basis. There will ALWAYS be hard times. There will ALWAYS be times where I feel challenged in my business, my personal life, or by others. It’s SO easy to just want to throw in the towel and wallow in our sorrows. But, I want you to think back to every hard time in your life. Every single hole you’ve dug yourself into. Every single time you feel like you can’t get past where you want to go.Then, ask yourself, did you find a way to get out of that hole? Did someone throw you a rope to help you out? Or did you figure out how to create footholes and handholes for you to climb out?Chances are, you’ve figured it out. You’ve always landed on your feet. And in reality, you probably always will. Don’t let those feelings force you to quit or make you feel like you’re not good enough. Because you WILL figure it out, I promise you that!